I really enjoy Adam Scott struggling not to smile at Amy Poehler’s hilarity.
She betrayed Ronan. He’s coming back for her. And when he does… (x)
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
that was a wild ride
This is what it’s like when I go on someone’s blog and a playlist starts playing.
how the fuck did they film that scene
they threw a radio at his face
just so we’re clear, i use
as gender-neutral and affectionate names
don’t forget son
What am I forgetting dad
You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.
So happy to get Mulan for the lovely snarkies' Disney Ladies Collaboration on twitter! If I hadn't been destined to love Ariel by default, Mulan would be my favorite Disney lady of all time.
apparently it’s nineteen fucking twenty
what a stupid fucking comic
Wow! Whoever made this is deluded
this just in: the anti-feminists still refuse to acknowledge misogyny exists, as it never has happened to them in their lives. also not so sure the sun is really there, or is just another conspiracy created to confuse the people. more at eleven.
“My heart is stronger now that you’re in it”